"I dunno," CmdrTaco said to me. "I'm into some pretty kinky shit."

"That's okay, I can handle it," I told him. "As long as it involved me coming in, on, or around you - you sexy, flabby, pale hunk of bloated man, you." How bad could it be? I had done it all - S&M, fecal, you name it.

But nothing could have prepared me for the horrors I experienced that night. I mean, there's kink and then there's kink. He actually removed the uterus from a freshly-killed cow and shoved it up his ass. Then he made me suck off a young black man and snowball the spooge into his anus.

The cow uterus became impregnated. Nine months later Cmdr Taco gave anal birth to a black half-man, half-cow. He named it Michael Sims and gave it a job at Slashdot.